A small hand held to a smaller mouth, holding back the words. The terrible words, the words I could not say.

I would betray them all, in the attempt to save them all, and I know that I have already decided. I cannot let this death continue. Lord, if You are out there, if You are merciful, why do you let this happen to Your people? For surely these ragtag rebels do Your work, surely they speak with Your voice and show Your ideals. Surely. How can one hear Sophia speak, and not think her divinely inspired?

I must save them. I must. Even if I cannot live with myself afterwards.

Solaris was hurting, and hurting badly, when that woman stretched forth her hand and called down the furies of Hell upon the earth. The rebels had them retreating -- and my city, my quiet and beautiful and secular city, was the foundation that had allowed such audacity to thrive. We were resolved to stand tall and shake the heavens, resolved that we would tear down the old structure and re-forge our own. And then came the Diabolos, dark angels that were far from angelic, to break down those fragile dreams...

I knew I needed to do something, and I knew that there was nothing I could do, and finally with one last desperate gamble I made contact with those who had been our enemies for so long, and thus a deal was struck. I and my country would withdraw our hand from the surface, and in return, we would receive the woman who had caused all of this suffering, preventing her from taking further action. A harder choice was never made, but I made it; I made it, I would betray my alliance with the people I admired more than nearly any I had ever met, for the chance to save them all.

Can they ever understand how hard that choice was? Can they ever know what brought me to this decision, or will they think me merely traitor, oathbreaker, unfit to stand beside them in the annals of history? I am not concerned for myself, but for them -- Sophia, so young and yet so old, wise and lovely; Krelian, fierce and protective and so gifted behind his masks; Lacan, loyal and caring; Roni and Rene, devoted and determined -- all of them caught up in a struggle that they never quite planned for. And I shall abandon them at just the moment they need me the most, throw them to the wolves like Jephthah did his daughter, and all I can hope is that it will work, that I will not have made this decision in vain...

Lord, if You hear me, if You have ever turned your face to these, Your people -- I beg of you this, this one thing.

Let no more of Your people die.